what do i want the world to know about me

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When i get the question what do you want the world to know about you
It makes me sit back and question everything about, kenzi….
to me, i  would be described as faithful and true
So humble you'd never see me driving a bentley

Lost and tossed for years and years 
I was bruised, and broken
I was everything less than a furze
And was eventually considered broke in

In what i thought was a perfect world
I always had clothes
It was always just me, furled
Blinded by a wilted rose

I was blinded till now
When i thought everything was perfect
So conformed you'd think i was an eyebrow
I never recognized characteristics of an addict

I had never been taught hate
None the less exposed 
At the minimal age of 8 
I learned my  family was no longer closed

New, new faces, 
Awkward smiles and wandering eyes
New, new voices
How awkward it felt to be a prize

New cousins new aunts and some grandparents too
What i thought was complete had just been renewed
A new page had turned heres my queue
And with that brought on a whole new attitude

A few years later as we traveled down a road
Something sinister was introduced, little did we know
Some say it was more difficult than this ode
He was about to hit an all time low

How about a grand low of six feet
In a span of six months to that day
His father joined his fleet
After that none of us knew how to pray

Even when it seemed to hard 
It felt senseless
I was far too scarred
And just felt completely defenseless

Seven years later Moving in, moving out, 
Why oh so fast
It felt like a trap house
That would hopefully soon be in my past

Knives, and ice
I was always in fights
I had no vice
Leaving was in my sights

 It was winter i was all alone
Hiding behind a greenbelt fence
All that was seen was crone
I was lost with no defence

I had to make a plan
Hidden packed bags
My new chapter had just began
And i thought no surrendering flags

So i ran, ran way, far away
1 call then no more battery
I liked this game even though no one wanted to play
Don't worry i'll never be on the repository

For the sake of school so i thought 
I went back, the house i would be briefly attend
Peace is the only thing i sought
Until it just turned into a dead end

It was hopeless and so was i 
The house was surrounded
The day my heart became dry
At this point I was confounded

2012 I was the criminal, it was my fault
But i was with my siblings in better care
Not only my mind but my heart became as strong as cobalt
But little did i know it was so much pain to bare

From suspect to victim of my own mind
I had to be strong for them
Slowly i became blind
My eyes sparkled like a rare gem
From that point on I always needed a taste
I found i couldn't be happy without some salt and lime
I slowly became a disgrace
Smoking things that looked like thyme

Slowly my life was taking a crash course in destruction
So i stopped i needed to be that few percent
I became sober and focused on education
And i learned how to repent

 I got a job 
And had good grades
I became an ocd snob 
I was a jack of all trades

May 2014 i was finding my independence 
Adoption, 18th birthday, graduate
I would no longer have to be in attendance
With my future i scheduled a blind date

From that point on i thought i had it figured out
Taking care of myself, the right way of wrong
Little did i know i would soon need a bail out
To everyone i was a dying star but to me i was strong

I did my makeup and looked in the mirror
And behind the makeup and flesh
Like an etch a sketch it became clearer
I didn't know who i was like a foundling in a creche

Spitting image of my father
Same person as my mom
To everyone, i am a bother
How could i be calm

2016 i want to be me
But i don't even know who i am 
God has handed me the key
How do i do this without a gram

My heart has been too heavy to heal
I never grieved, no realization
I let down my walls of steel
My life is no longer painted in animation

Now i'm an all star
I am healing 
I will go far
Put my trust into kneeling

So when i get the question what do you want the world to know about you
I can confidently say i want them to know i'm finding myself 
Im learning to be my own person and how to be happy too
So for now i'm going to hang this up on the shelf